Wait for It.....

Patience.....noun \ˈpā-shən(t)s\  [insert a long, pregnant pause here]  
I feel like I've waited all day to take medicine.  At 8:00am I took the first estrogen dose, at 11:00am the cough suppressant (I've got bronchitis), at 1:00pm the antibiotic, at 4:00pm the second dose of estrogen, at 8:00pm the injection, at 11:00pm the third dose of estrogen and before bed - another cough suppressant. 

Patience is something that I always feel I need more of.  And did I mention that I NEED IT NOW!?!?    Surely I'm not the most impatient person in the world.  Or am I?  I'm not that rude, impatient person who screams when you don't jump when they want you to. And likely you'll never hear my extended vocabulary that I extend to slow drivers who have nowhere to be this week yet are already on the road to get there. Nor will you see the frustration on my face as I wait in the "express lane" behind that person with 16 items in their basket.  I don't care that no one was waiting behind you when you so rudely got in line with your 16 items. The sign CLEARLY states 15 items or less!!!  ARGH!!!  Hurry UP already because I need to hurry up and wait...


Patience.  I certainly could use more of it.  I'm not the first to write about patience, and without a doubt I'm the least qualified.  Patience is a virtue. Patience concentrated is endurance.  Slow and steady wins the race (well, that was about patience), and even the New Testament mentions patience 33 times. As I studied the topic, I noticed the word "longsuffering" was used 17 times in the Bible.  So I thought about that a little more today.

Longsuffering.... by definition, longsuffering is patient endurance of pain or unhappiness.  Yep.  Longsuffering describes infertility.  Years and years of waiting - often coupled with the disappointment of yet another failed intrauterine insemination (IUI) or in-vitro fertilization (IVF) cycle.  Not to mention the savings that you watch go down the drain with each cycle.  And of course, there's also a different type of  "weight"-ing that occurs following the multiple rounds of hormones we endure.  Before all my infertility treatments, I was 3 sizes smaller than my current size.  Talk about longsuffering.

Let me put it into perspective for those who are not fertility-challenged. When a couple wants to and is actively trying to get pregnant, there's not much waiting involved - other than waiting to do it again and waiting to see if the stick you peed on is positive. But when you're dealing with infertility, a cycle of waiting begins....which ultimately concludes with waiting for the sobbing to stop because after ALL that you went through - you're not pregnant this month.

God answers prayers.  This comes as no surprise to me, but I had an epiphany recently.  Could it be that my infertility is actually God answering my prayers for patience (usually in the context of dealing with stressful moments or people) by requiring me to wait to become a mom?  And in doing so, He's allowed me to better develop a fruit of the spirit attribute?  Perhaps. 

#604 (read previous posts for reference) is patient.  She's having to take a lot more hormones that I have. I am thankful for her patience. And kindness. And Goodness.  She's a whole Fruit of the Spirit orchard in my book!  Please continue to keep #604 in your prayers - and me too.  I need my bronchitis to clear up before next Monday (projected embryo transfer date). 

Patience and longsuffering.  It WILL all be worth it.  This I know.  God promises in Jeremiah 29:11 -"For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."  Thanks Ginny (from FB) for this reminder.