Show Me a Sign!

Have  you ever found yourself waiting for a sign?  I have.  In fact, I've been waiting for several signs for 13 days since the embryo transfer.  I've Googled every possible combination of words related to early pregnancy signs as if somewhere out in cyberspace I would be able to confirm pregnancy.   When I read that nipples get darker - I practically ran to the mirror to check.  Surely there is some sign other than waiting....

All this waiting combined with the infertility drugs and hormones is making me just *a little* crazy. For the past 13 days I've become a voyuer on several IVF and pregnancy forums.  I'm like a stalker looking for signs.  I cyberstalk other women who have recently had IVF to see what signs and symptoms they're experiencing while they wait for their blood test.  

Mine is a long wait.  For some it's just 10 days and for some it's two weeks an then for others the day you're supposed to have it done is Thanksgiving and the clinic is closed and you are out of town so you have to wait until the following Monday.  That's my story.  I'm a lady in waiting.

Some women can't stand the wait and choose to POAS (pee on a stick).  This is known amongst infertiles as "the devil stick" and despite the fact that with infertility treatments they are often wrong, many women report that they still pee on lots of sticks hoping for that faint pink line.  Can't really blame them - I like pink too. Figuring it couldn't hurt to pee on a few sticks, I went outside and found some.  I didn't see a faint pink line on any of them though - so I'm not sure if I'm using the right type of stick.  I think most of them were oak.  Maybe I should have used pecan.  The sweetgum sticks are for gender detection.  The stick on the bottom photo is for predicting a boy - see the ball?

Since the embryo transfer I've been watching for each and every sign or symptom to indicate that I am pregnant:

• Implantation bleeding - This would be an indicator that the embryo implanted.  Some people spot and others don't.  I didn't. 
• Delayed period - Given the dose of progesterone I'm on, this is artificially delayed. At least I can quit inspecting the toliet paper as closely as I was for the dreaded monthly visitor.  
• Swollen breasts - Uhmmmm....for me, that's a bit hard to tell.  But the girls are tender - again could be caused by the elephant dosage of estrogen I'm taking.
• Fatigue and tiredness - I have noticed I fatigue easily.  Couldn't even keep up with my parents at Sam's Club yesterday - and they both have bad knees and hips.  Then again, it could be the progesterone causing me to be out of breath so easily.
• Nausea - I am much more aware of odors.  Things that aren't usually offensive smells make nauseated.  I nearly vomited at the smell of McDonalds and Chick-fil-A that some co-workers brought into the office last week.  (Usually the smell of grease only makes me gag.)  The next day, the smell of chocolate chip cookies baking caused me to dry heave.  If being pregnant means chocolate makes me gag, then God is playing a bad trick on me.  However, it could be the estrogen.
• Headache - I have had intermittent headaches.  But this could be caused by caffeine withdrawal.
• Peeing a lot - I already pee a lot.  How can I tell the difference?
• And the list goes on...

I even pray for signs that I'm pregnant.  I have an odd (for me) peacefulness about me and am not overly anxious or nervous.  I know that God has this in His ultimate control and knows the outcome already.  I just which I could get a sign. 

A rare optimism surrounds me.  Please continue to pray for a positive outcome. I feel good about it and know that if the result isn't positive that it'll be a hard fall.  We'll need lots of prayers to be able accept the outcome and find a way to be thankful regardless.

In the meantime, I'm thankful for so many things - #604, my amazing reproductive endocrinologist, the science that exists to make it all work, the ability to afford a 4th round of IVF, incredible friends who have prayed and cheered for me unlike anything you could believe, a family that has walked nearly every step of this journey with me, a husband who loves me despite my imperfections and most of all my faith in God, the Almighty Creator. Without this faith my journey would have ended a long time ago.

Happy Thanksgiving friends and loved ones.  We have much to be thankful for!

Until next time - gobble 'till you wobble!